life goes on and I'm about to leave.
this summer will be a long story between stories, Odysseus crossing seas, Orpheus in the kingdom beneath. a transition.
how many cities? how many airports? how many bags? parcels. trains. how many nights sleeping with my head on a backpack? we'll see if I still know, if I remember how to let the currents carry my weight, how to follow my blind guide. we'll see if I can still dance with the gods.

the journey started I don't even know how many years ago. I was projected towards the city of light even before I knew about it. my dreams told me of it before I even knew what they were showing me. now I ask myself if it's true, that we're all always running towards the cliffs, that life is a river and no one can swim against the current.
I've known for the last ten years that the king of snakes would have guided me toward the river where people go to die. like a river, I've watched all of my dream flow by, now i can smell the sea.

I think back to where the journey began, and I see I've never stopped learning. but now at least I know how to recognise the way, the signs, the guides. I learnt how to learn.
as the monster said, it's been a difficult year. a lot has been done, a lot has been fought, a lot has been suffered. how true that fire purifies, that clear crystals bear the weight of mountains. and so with my blood I've left everything. everything I was I burnt and the goddess danced around the ashes. then I got up, lost as every new life is lost, tentative. I can't dance because I have no legs to hold me.

but I saw, and felt, and heard. I beat the moon's rhythm, new blood with every pulse.
until the flow was disturbed. the monster, in its deep innocence, was suddenly shooting through my woods, tearing and trampling and waking all of my past lives.
we confronted them together, my past lives, my ghosts. the monster accepted my return from my journeys into fear, my return from the other world. I used to have to leave, to feed my ghosts. now I don't. they're not there anymore.

I left my fear and now I'm exploring a new balance. imbalance. I need to breathe more. I need to burn more. hunger and desire, I'm still always falling towards the next step. but I must remember to let my feet feel the ground.

so here is the journey so far, and here is the vision, an image of future in its becoming. I'm falling fast.
I'm not ready for the journey, for the otherworld.   but then, will I ever be. so I'll just fall, and listen. and here, I open the next chapter.

finally, we meet.

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